Superbowl Funday

[00:00:00] Hey, Matt Alive here. Betcha didn't know I was gonna be in another movie. Oh hell, who am I kidding? Of course you did. I won't shut up about it. So the movie's called Fur and it's brought to you by the great people over at Film Trash Productions.

[00:00:13] It's all about an animatronic bear who comes to life and starts killing. Ooh, gruesome! Our Indiegogo campaign is currently live through the end of February and if you can help out there are some great perks. They range from animal pets, signed copies of the Blu-ray,

[00:00:28] special thanks in the credits, your band's music in the film and acting roles. You can even be killed. Oh, that sounds super fun. Check it out. Donate and share if you're able.

[00:00:39] The link to the Indiegogo campaign is down in the show description and any help is very appreciated. We're gonna be a clone of the Screeching Weasel song that we heard a while ago. Sports! Yeah. Sports. Now they got that off my chest.

[00:01:46] I was so hoping the Lions were gonna go to the Super Bowl so I could rub it in. Oh my God. I picked the Super Bowl champion N1.

[00:01:53] Did you? You didn't pick the Lions, did you? Yeah, I think I did. I think I picked the Lions over the Jets. Really? I'm gonna go back to my notes here. Yeah, but the fact that you picked the Jets negates that you picked the Lions.

[00:02:03] Oh, I know. It does. It totally does. I got one of the teams, right? I picked the Niners and the Bills, remember? The Bills should have beat Kansas City. Fuck Kansas City. You picked the Bills and the Niners.

[00:02:15] Fuck Kansas City's Wine and Ass fans. How about that? They are. They are. I hope San Francisco, I hope Brock Purdy throws eight fucking touchdowns and runs for 250 yards. Yeah. Patrick Mahomes really pissed me off this season. No, fuck that guy.

[00:02:32] With the wine and shit about the fucking offense. Like dude, offside is a fucking, it's there for a fucking reason. Your dude was offside. He was lined up in the neutral zone. Clear as day. Like fuck off. This season was the final straw. Like he is king cry-ass.

[00:02:49] It's him and Josh Allen right at the top. Both of those motherfuckers. I don't know if Josh Allen is as bad as he is, but... He's a close second. I'll give you that one. There's many other people who are very close to...

[00:03:02] Travis, you look good. You lose a bunch of weight or something? Yeah, I do. And I am losing weight. Nice. I could tell. Yeah. Thanks. And that sweet ass rancid shirt too. There it is, dude. I haven't fit into this one in a while. Yeah. Nice.

[00:03:18] Travis Kelce's girlfriend always forever looking over your shoulder. I don't know what you're talking about. My computer died the day that I got all those fucking AI pictures of... I didn't tell anybody else that. Yeah, you got the Taylor Swift pictures.

[00:03:34] I didn't download them. I just clicked and saved some of them just so I could share it in the chat and laugh at them. That was the day my computer died after that. The man doesn't like big Taylor Swift pictures. Is that what they were?

[00:03:51] Yeah, I thought I'd put them in our chat. The O.B.H. chat. Oh, maybe I didn't see it. I heard it was getting fucked doggy styled by Oscar the Grouch, which was so random, but good for Oscar.

[00:04:04] It might have been in previous to starting the big chat. Maybe. Yeah, hilarious. All that is Ron is... Taylor Swift is like the female version of a warlock. She gets her powers from some demon that presides and basically clawing into her back

[00:04:24] and riding on her shoulders the whole time. You download the demon didn't like that. Did not. It did not. Maybe. Maybe Taylor Swift is a dude. The whole warlock thing makes too much sense with her. I'm just kidding. She's very tall. Yeah.

[00:04:44] I always thought her Adam's apple was a little weird. Hey, did you hear the new... I want to call it conspiracy theory, but it's a new shit going around on the Internet which says if the chief swinger, I'm going to propose to her. Oh, yeah?

[00:04:59] So does that mean if the Niners win that she's going to propose to Travis Kelsey? No, I think she's just going to leave him. She's going to leave him and write a record about it. Yep. It's better. Fake relationship since the beginning. Yeah. Well, good for Travis, man.

[00:05:19] If he gets the fuck the most popular woman in the world over it then good for him. What does he care? He's got all that Pfizer money. I totally resent the fact his name couldn't have been Chris, couldn't have been Steve Theodore. It had to be Travis.

[00:05:35] I would switch places with that dude in... What's smaller than a millisecond? Whatever smaller than a millisecond is. Yeah, I mean who wouldn't but like if you just have the same name and you're not bearing any fruit from having that name, like... That's true.

[00:05:55] You just hear it a lot and it's always followed by Taylor Swift. If you got the bang pop stars. And you got her on your door right there. Yeah, she's there. That's up Taylor. She's not even like hot. No dude, I was just having a conversation.

[00:06:11] She's just like an average looking chick. Dude, she is completely just like AI generated regular. If she walked by you in the street. Like I wouldn't look twice at her if she walked by me on the street. No dude, she is. She's vanilla pudding. She's no ice spice.

[00:06:29] Room temperature bathtub water. It's it dude, she's neither hot nor cold. I have the biggest crush on ice spice and I had to look up how old she was before I would talk about it publicly, but she's in her 20s. Is this the ice?

[00:06:43] Doesn't the ice spice have a fart in her something? Yeah, she has a song called it's the first song to ever chart with the word fart in the title. Ron was instantly... Now I gotta figure out who she is. This may be the shows my age.

[00:06:57] I don't know, but I'm younger than you are. So I have no idea what it's in. She's in the... I first saw her in the Dunkin Donut commercials with what's his name? The Boston kid not ice spice. Was this like the remnants of the spice girls?

[00:07:12] I don't know, but look at her ass. Google eyes red nose. I know she knows ice spice reds down. Yeah, yeah. Reds down with the with the spice girls are way better. Oh, she's not a spice girl. In music? I don't know. Yeah, in music.

[00:07:31] Ice spice is music. It's horrible, but you got to look at that ass though. Yeah. Yeah. She's not an additional spice. No, no, she's just ice spice. I'm a huge... To say I'm an ass man is like to put it lightly. You know, boobs are cool, but...

[00:07:50] I feel like Megan a really stupid analogy here, but I'm not going to do it. We're all stupid. Okay. So if like the ancient Samarians, like biblical text says that some other race of gods came here, i.e. the Anunnaki and spliced DNA amongst creatures

[00:08:11] and created human beings, right? I'm not saying that's true. I'm just saying that's what they have written in their stone tablets. So that's what they had. So like ice spice is to the Samarians and the Anunnaki of the spice girls.

[00:08:25] So they spliced all the spice girls DNA together and except all of their asses combined child. Not have equal ice spices. Well, yeah, you know, you got to add some. There's the spice people. You got to add some pizzazz in there. Spice people. Science.

[00:08:46] All about research and science. Yeah, she's a genetically created spice ass girl. Just for Ron. Did you look her up yet? No, I looked you up. Thank you. It is the thing of glory. What the hell was that? What's the guy's name?

[00:09:08] Matt Damon's friend who's in the Dunkin Donuts commercials with ice spice. You know, Matt Damon's friend. He's in all the movies with him. So Ben. Ben was in a Dunkin Donuts commercial with ice spice. He must be hurting for money because ice spices fans are called Munchkins.

[00:09:25] It's like Travis Kelsie's girlfriend. Nobody really knows who she is. Travis put her on the map. Matt Damon's friend Travis Kelsie's girlfriend. You know, whatever. Nobody knows who they are. They're going to have like a Superbowl party after and Travis is going to be

[00:09:42] like, can I bring my girlfriend? It's like, no. Patrick Mahomes and fucking Kenny Powers be there. I just started watching fucking Eastbound and down again. Close your eyes. You won't be able to tell them apart. Have you ever seen the video? Of what?

[00:10:04] Fucking literally Kenny Powers and Patrick Mahomes have the same voice. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do everything. You have to listen to everything. Yeah, it is the exact same thing. Yeah. You have to watch the commercial where Kenny Powers buys British

[00:10:30] Nights and he has a British Nights commercial. It's like 30 seconds long. And he's the, he's like, I'm the new fucking CEO of British Nights. I've seen it. I feel like I got to find that fucking video and just play it here. That's just Kenny Powers.

[00:10:48] They almost look a little like too. Yeah. The Pride of Fredericksburg. Danny McBride. Dude's fucking hilarious. Oh yeah, now it's Huntley. Now Huntley is the pride of Fredericksburg. Who's Huntley? The guy who won, was it the voice? Yeah, the guy who just won the voice.

[00:11:09] It pissed me off so bad he only had one name. Huntley, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, apparently he's a really nice guy. But yeah, he's from here. He's here at Fredericksburg zone. What's the voice? It's like one of those American Idol type of news.

[00:11:27] American Idol was funny when I would just like to laugh at the people who like were horrible. The best American Idol thing ever was when Triumph, the insult comic dog went to Hawaii when they were doing American Idol and started talking to people in line.

[00:11:44] That dude is a fucking, what's the, what's the guy's name? Who does it? The writer? Is it Robert something? Rob? Schmeigel. Yeah, Robert Schmeigel. Genius. Yeah. If anybody out there has never seen Triumph, the insult, or look him up, but like that is hilarious.

[00:12:08] And there's this one where he goes to a Star Wars movie. You will piss your fucking, oh my God. Somebody was dressed up like Darth Vader. Darth Vader's got that little computer thing on his chest. He's like, which one of these buttons calls your parents

[00:12:24] to come pick you up? One of the women's was pregnant and she was dressed up like something and he was like, Oh, when is your baby due? And she was told in the days like, and that will be the last time he ever sees a vagina.

[00:12:39] He was a long time writer on Saturday Night Live. Yeah, Robert Schmeigel is a fucking genius. He was one of the originators of the De Baers. Oh, was he? He was usually in it too, even though he was just a writer there. Oh really? That's funny.

[00:12:57] So he goes way back, huh? He's one of the OGs. I don't know if he's still there or not. I doubt it. He doesn't work for him. But he does still do triumph from time to time. I actually have the best of triumph

[00:13:11] in Soak Comic Dog DVD somewhere. That's awesome. You ever see the one where he goes to that hot dog stand in Chicago, I think it is? Yeah. And he's like yelling at the, they're being rude to him and he's,

[00:13:28] One of the funniest things he ever did was when he was out in Hawaii for the American Idol thing to go to the line and talk to people. They gave triumph, the puppet, a guest spot as the fucking weatherman on the local news in Hawaii.

[00:13:45] It's so fucking funny. He's like the whole entire region will be threatened by three or four days of shade. Like, you know, it's like Hawaii weather, so it's just like clouds. Okay. So who's, so who's winning the Super Bowl? Chiefs. It's not going to be close. Nope. Niners.

[00:14:13] Yeah. I want the Niners to win. They're gonna win. I want the Niners to win. Not to play the way they played against the Lions. They're gonna win. The score is going to be 167 to negative 12. Okay. So, we're gonna throw that down. First, negative 12.

[00:14:34] How would you get negative 12 points? Let me see. There's a way. There's gotta be. There's gotta be a way. But seriously, no. Niners over the Chiefs in a surprising somewhat of a blowout 36 to 12. That's my score. Yep.

[00:14:57] Patrick Mahomes blows out his knees out for the season next year. All right. Travis, what's your prediction? I mean, I can't get much better than that. But I mean, I think it's going to be closer than that. Like 21 27 something like that. Niners. Yeah. Niners. 27 21 Niners. Yep. I'm going.

[00:15:23] I could make a realistic proposal here, but. I'm going 31 20 Chiefs. 31 20 Chiefs. That's realistic. I made mine unrealistic because realism at this point in life is 36 12. Yeah. Especially in Vegas, there's no wind. So you have to miss something if you get to almost it's like four field goals.

[00:15:48] Nah, you can get a fucking touchdown of field going to safety. Did McCaffrey's dad? Everyone is super bowl. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. McCaffrey's girlfriend slash wife is better looking than Taylor Swift. It's not even close. Well, there's like, you know, like 80% of the woman population on

[00:16:14] the planet's better looking than Taylor Swift. My daughter is what is that Pantera right now in Lexington, Kentucky? She's currently watching Lamb of God open for them. Let's go. Yeah. She went alone too. She didn't have any and none of her friends wanted to go with her.

[00:16:35] She's like alone at a fucking Pantera concert. Your daughter's a metalhead. She likes she loves Pantera loves Pantera. She wanted me to go with her last summer. I think they were in Hershey, Pennsylvania, but I was like,

[00:16:49] I would have only gone to see Dimebag play guitar and if he's dead. So I have no desire to see Pantera. Black Labels. Black society played guitar for Ozzie for a long time. I'm pretty sure it was Zach Wilde who they said it's probably

[00:17:04] I'm trying to remember who was who's playing drums. It's funny to see her like text that though, because she's usually in she's like, she's really into hip hop and like pop music, but she fucking loves Pantera. Weird.

[00:17:17] She just sent me like a video of Lamb of God playing with like an explanation point. Lamb of God is like your first exposure to Lamb of God. They're from Richard. You just got to tell her Matt says their best albums of all the display power.

[00:17:31] And that's a fact. Yeah, it is non-demand. Well, one of my proudest moments as a father was when she was a senior in high school. Did and she plays she was on the varsity field hockey team. They did like a I think I've said this once in this

[00:17:45] podcast, but they did like a a every week they would like feature a different senior and they would be like, you know, what's your favorite position? Well, great. You know, where are you going to college next year? Where do you want to go and what's your favorite song?

[00:18:00] What's your favorite like? Hump up song. And everybody was like all ever all the other teams like all these like shitty pop songs. And she was like walk by Pantera. And I was like, yeah, this is awesome. Ed McAfrey has three rings. Oh, no shit.

[00:18:18] Who did you win the third one with? Well, he went to with. Okay. Yeah. Oh, did you play for another team? Because those are only two of the Broncos ever won right? With the last two seasons of Elbe. Or did he or did he play? Did.

[00:18:35] Did he play for the Bucks when they won in 2002? He definitely didn't play for the Dolphins because they've never won a Super Bowl. 49ers. Oh, he won one with the 49ers. Which year? Oh, come on. He must have that must have been like really early

[00:18:51] in his career and he just didn't play. Or something that would have been was that Montana? Was he too old for Montana? It would have had to be because the only he's too old for Steve Young, right? No, I mean, because that was 94.

[00:19:10] And and and the Broncos won back to back in 96 and 97 or 97 98 97 98. Yeah. His first one was the Niners. What year? It was 94. 94. Yep. He had to have been a bench player because I don't ever remember him being on the Niners. Yeah. 94 with the Niners.

[00:19:40] I thought he played his whole fucking career with that was Steve Young. See, this is another Mandela effect. McCaffrey never played for the Niners. I don't believe it. Okay. Against can anybody will anybody either of you guys tell me who the starting quarterback was for the

[00:19:57] Chargers in that game? I know the Chargers. He was a former Redskins. He was a former backup quarterback for the Redskins for years who finally got his shot towards the end of his career and played for San Diego for four or five seasons,

[00:20:12] I believe maybe it was only three, but but he took him to a Super Bowl one of those seasons. No, I don't know who that is. You know who it is, Travis, without looking it up. No, I'm looking. Wait, no, I'm looking it up.

[00:20:25] The quarterback of the Chargers in the 94 Super Bowl. No, I don't know who it is. It was Stan Humphries. Stan Humphries. That sounds so familiar. Stan Humphries. Yeah, because he was a backup quarterback for the Redskins for years. He backed up. I don't know shit. Yeah, pretty sure.

[00:20:49] That was a great fucking team. That skins team in 91 was fucking a good team. Top 10 greatest NFL teams of all time. So good. So fun to watch, man. We only allowed eight sacks. The whole season. Eight. Still a record, I believe. Eight. That was a great fucking team.

[00:21:11] And Mark Riven wasn't exactly known for being mobile either. Eight sacks. Yeah, that was a good team. The 94 Super Bowl. Was that your Ravi Stadium? It was. Steve Young played a hell of a game too. What do you think about your new head coach, Mr. Quinn?

[00:21:36] I dig it. I like Dan Quinn. I really like him a lot more after watching his press conference. I didn't watch it, but I completely understand why they fucking they love this dude. Like, even in his press conference, he was like, it was like halfway through

[00:21:54] and he was like, okay, I'm going to swear for the first time now. And he's like, because I do that a lot. He's like, I'm surprised I haven't done it so far by accident, but I've been doing a pretty good job.

[00:22:04] And he's sitting with the owner and our new GM. Awesome. That's cool. I mean, he was nothing but a winner at Atlanta. Right? I don't know if he had a winning record every season he was there, but he took him to a Super Bowl. Yeah.

[00:22:22] He's the he was the mastermind behind the CL Seahawks Legion of Boom. The defenses that they, you know, helped with them win a Super Bowl and go to another. And he made two, in my opinion, he made two really great coordinator hires.

[00:22:42] We stole because, you know, he's been the defensive coordinator for the Cowboys for the last three years. Best defense in the NFL this past season, I believe. Yeah. I guess that's kind of subjective, but he hired so not only did we steal him from Dallas,

[00:23:04] he brought with him his assistant defensive coordinator guy or whatever who was also like half defensive back coach and half defensive passing game coordinator Joe Witt. So we stole the guy who basically was like scheming for like all Dallas is like bad ass defensive backs. Yeah.

[00:23:24] So we stole him and now he's our defensive coordinator. So we stole, we stole the two guys that mastermind Dallas defense. I'm really happy about that because fuck Dallas. Yeah. And that was awesome.

[00:23:36] And then he brought on immediately brought on and stole Cliff Kingsbury as our offensive coordinator from Vegas who had basically agreed to take the Vegas job as offensive coordinator. And then he backed out of it to come to us. Nice. Which, which now there's rumors.

[00:23:53] God, the next month or so is going to be crazy with rumors with us because who was Cliff Kingsbury this past season? Well, he was the offensive coordinator for USC where Caleb William plays. Yeah. So, and you know where Caleb Williams went to high school?

[00:24:11] He didn't go to the Madness. In Zaga High School in DC. In DC. So Caleb's a local DC kid. Yeah. And we just got his offensive coordinator from college. And what number pick are you? Number two. Who's number one? And they have a quarterback.

[00:24:31] Maybe there's, I mean, people think they're going to take Caleb Williams. There's also, there's a lot of talks right now that we may move up one spot and give them a few picks. There's a lot of talk right now. I thought what's his name?

[00:24:44] It was pretty good this past year. Justin Fields. Yeah. Yeah. The second half of the season he played pretty well, but there's still a lot of question marks there. Yeah. Most of the question marks on that team right now surround their head coach Mark Iberfluss. Yeah.

[00:25:01] Because they, people were expecting him to be fired and he was not. So. They're going to give, the whole thought was to give him in fields another season. There's a lot of people who think that the Bears want to take Marvin Harrison Jr.

[00:25:15] But understand that the skins want Caleb Williams and are trying to fake them out, making them think they want Williams too. So we call their bluff. Try to trade up.

[00:25:26] It's going to be, there's going to be some wild theories about this for the next month and a half. Travis, what do the dolphins need to do to get over the hump for next year? Jesus Christ. We need a dolphin Super Bowl. Yeah, you're telling me dude. No.

[00:25:40] It's fucking jets. I'm done with them. I did. No commanders. Give him another season. You know what? I've been giving him another season since 69. Fuck those motherfuckers. We don't need to see a jets. He just do anything. It probably ever. Man, if the greatest quarterback in jets history.

[00:26:03] Fucking. No, I forget his name. It's the only Jersey I own. I can see his face clear as they play for Marshall. Oh, Chad Pennington. Had Pennington. Yeah. If you can't get him to Super Bowl, they're not going to Super Bowl. Chad Pennington is the Jesus Christ.

[00:26:23] I was a Pennington fan, man. I like Pennington. Yeah. He was so hokey in country and it was so funny to watch him like playing New York City. And when you're a quarterback that that's that good and your arm is that bad, like imagine if Chad Pennington

[00:26:38] had a great arm. Oh, it'd be ridiculous. Yeah. He was solid. He was a solid quarterback. That was his only problem is his arm. Fuck ahead, Travis. You're the dolphins GM for a day. What are you doing? Well, I'll tell you what they did that I don't

[00:26:55] necessarily agree with. The linebacker, yeah, we had like issues with the linebackers this year, but so many of them were like stem from injuries. Like, fuck, we were just riddled with injuries. They let what was his name? Our linebackers coach Anthony Campanile. I think it was Anthony Campanile.

[00:27:15] They let him go. Some people were screaming for like, oh, he should be moved up because you know they let go of or excuse me, they parted ways mutually with Vic Fangio. Yeah, that's weird. Now you're well now you're starting to hear shit come out

[00:27:29] that he didn't want to be there really in the first place they had asked him before a few years ago and he pretty much turned it down. And this time the money was right. And it was dude, it was an unexciting defense

[00:27:42] unless we were playing a shitty team like it was really, really lackluster. So I really thought that they would have moved. They would move Campanile maybe up to defensive coordinator. Not necessarily the case. So before this season I would have said that just get me

[00:27:59] a fucking offensive line for Christ's sake, just fucking get me an offensive line and we do need a lot of help there but they basically had a small group of rag tags and some crusty bitches there and they did an OK job

[00:28:12] like despite the fact that it was a bunch of fucking I mean everyone was hurt. They still they didn't do so bad. I think they should still focus on the offensive line. I'm going to be 100% honest with you like I don't know

[00:28:29] the first half of the season was like alright dude this is our guy the second half of the season was like alright he didn't get injured but I don't really know to just didn't have that fucking that that we were looking for and

[00:28:44] and in QB one you know he didn't really have that leadership he didn't look like he had that fire. So that's a big fucking question mark to me this arm was great the leadership skills were it just it just wasn't

[00:28:57] there it was just flat like the game on offense it was just fucking flat so people who think that too it doesn't have an arm crazy he's got a fine arm his arm is fine that's not his issue and the accuracy is great the

[00:29:09] accuracy is great yeah most of the time but his leadership I agree with you his leadership is it's questionable. It's no emotion he gets out there he says fam way too much first way too much fam so much yeah he's like alright

[00:29:24] fam we're going to run a fan play now fam and he gets out there and towards especially the last half of the season he was just I fucking Tyree the ball was snapped and he was just looking at Tyreek the

[00:29:35] whole way like I mean in all fairness if you're an NFL quarterback and have Tyreek it probably pretty hard not to yeah but like pretend for a second you're not gonna yeah yeah alright so fucking alien dude I

[00:29:49] promise I'm still going to throw it to you I'm not looking at you but I promise I'm still and then I heard obviously I heard Jalen Waddle was like disgruntled by the end of the season because that dude's fucking good yeah what happened in this

[00:30:00] season they just didn't get him the ball that's it they it was I don't know if it was offense a coordinator I don't know if it's McDaniel I don't know if it was two if it was all three they just

[00:30:09] let Waddle just kind of fester over there there's no fucking way that Mike McDaniel is the reason Jalen Waddle wasn't getting the ball I was no way I would like to think not I would like to think not but it

[00:30:21] was there was a lack of and I'm not even going to say performance because he did a fine job when he got the ball but there's a there was he wasn't getting his touches and you guys what who's what's your GM's name a fucking Chris Greer

[00:30:37] Chris Greer he's got some work to do right because you guys are lacking some draft picks correct dude so yeah well we kind of got fucked with that whole Stephen Ross Tom Brady thing too and so we lost some there yeah we traded half the farm

[00:30:51] for Tyreek um but we all like people talk shit about him I'm I like him he's done some shit he's done some good shit but he was also like we got fucking the neighborhood for Laramie Tunsel when we traded him the Houston

[00:31:08] man the day and the rightfully so he's been fucking amazing for the amazing yeah fucking amazing even when it was like getting drafted with his like gas mask on of I he was taking a fucking gravity bomb hit in the gas mask

[00:31:22] yeah I remember that that was the good old days of football that was yeah I had but yeah dude there was a player on the caps who's no longer there back in those days who kind of did the same kind of thing like had an accidental like Instagram

[00:31:37] video loaded where he was like smoking a blunt it's not on the caps anymore but yeah it was like right around the same time period yeah Madison Bowie was that guy's name let him let him let him do steroids let him do drugs well the NHL

[00:31:52] doesn't really care the NHL has been letting players smoke weed for years they just never publicly announced it they just announced it in-house and just that was that good yeah yeah it's not performance enhancing no you know I mean like oh since since we're on this

[00:32:13] subject real quick please tell me one of you guys saw the video of Michael Buble at the NHL All-Star Game fucking on and mushrooms yes yes my god Ron you have to watch this as we're done with this like the press conference starts off

[00:32:31] and you can like knowing this you look at his face you'll be like oh my god he wasn't even he says it he wasn't trying the first thing in his press conference he goes so my friend gave me some mushrooms and said

[00:32:46] it was just a micro dose he's a liar that's literally the first sentence out of his mouth wow yeah it's amazing dude oh my god it's that that interview is way better than all of his Christmas albums oh my god yeah yeah it's so good

[00:33:10] you should put out a CD of just that near you I was dying during that whole thing dude it was amazing it was absolutely amazing look at Michael Buble and Justin Bieber got offered another contract Justin Bieber but to play hockey yeah Justin Bieber is really really really

[00:33:37] fucking good hockey wait the teeny bopper yes yes are you serious dead serious when he was 19 years old I mean he was already famous at that point but he was offered he was offered a one year contract by the Toronto Marlies which is

[00:33:54] the Toronto Maple Leafs A. H. L. contract because he's Canadian right yeah he played in juniors and shit he's really sure but he so he's 29 right now and he was at the All-Star game and they fucking offered him another contract

[00:34:05] like legit wait is he like is he really that good or is this like when the Mets signed Tim Tebow to trip no no no Justin Bieber is I've seen videos of him playing he's really fucking good ten like ten years ago or

[00:34:18] whenever it was that was the first I heard about it because they did like a whole thing on the NHL network on him and they were showing videos of him playing in juniors and shit he's like really fucking good well and he's still apparently that good that the

[00:34:32] NHL is basically still trying to get him to come play these they legit offered him another contract at the All-Star like this weekend or whatever now all Canadians can play hockey those who care yeah I mean that's that's true they all just grow up

[00:34:48] like that's what you do in the football you put blades on your feet you go out and put fucking whack a puck around whack a puck or you become a great comedian yeah you hook a football you whack a puck are you talking about

[00:35:02] Norm or you so many great comedians from Norm is like the king of all of them but Norm Norm is where you skip out on winter and go down to Cuba and start sleeping around with revolutionary leaders and have kids and go back to Canada

[00:35:18] and your kid becomes the fucking president no what's the Canadian leader's name Prime Minister Prime Minister yeah he is he is no not allegedly yes allegedly but Jesus Christ I mean like it's a fact it's a fact well I don't know if it's a fact but

[00:35:42] like his mom fuck Castro his mom did fuck Castro yeah it's almost there like it's almost a fact it's like that it's well known that she like hung out with Castro and like the way they are in pictures together and shit there's no doubt this broad was

[00:36:02] fucking Castro they were singers too I thought huh weren't his parents like legit swingers yeah I think so like you talking about the oh yeah so Trudeau's parents yeah yeah yes yes they did like do swing and stuff but there's pictures of her with Castro in Cuba

[00:36:26] and like the question really is not did she sleep with Castro because it's pretty clear that she did but it's when did she sleep with Castro yeah it's the time frames kind of don't match up and like she might have had already had Trudeau at that point

[00:36:44] or like it was like out of the times like weird a little bit there but just the fact that he looks exactly like Fidel Castro nothing like who his own father is supposed to be and his mom definitely at least hung out

[00:36:58] in Cuba with Castro for quite a while like that's a fact whether or not they slept together no one knows but I've seen those pictures the way she's looking at that man she fucked her like a lot imagine being Canadian dude and being like so close

[00:37:16] to an American but just lame lame as fuck and cold all the time like you sound like us you kind of look like us but you're just a fucking douche Canada is America's largest was it a Simpsons episode where it was like Canada is America's largest national park

[00:37:36] yeah my favorite always was a Robin Williams joke from one of his standups where he was like Canada is the loft department above a really great party they're like hey keep it down down there hey try to sleep Canada oh fuck you Canada fuck Canada

[00:38:02] this is the second pocket throw I told the whole country to go fuck off I love I love my Canadian friends man I love my Canadian friends outside of them outside of them where else can you drink a toe right I mean one day but Canada

[00:38:22] they got rid of it they don't like me Canada won't let me in the country they don't like me we'll smuggle you in I just want to take a shot with a toe in it is that too much for a guy to ask

[00:38:34] toe I don't know about the toe what oh dude man it's been years so let's talk about oh it has been years hasn't it we haven't talked about this in forever it's like the first year we talked about it like four times but we haven't really

[00:38:46] I do actually know a couple people who've done this too so in the Yukon territory which is like way west and north Canada up above Edmonton it's over by the it's over by the border of the Yukon territory and then Alaska there's this old fucking town

[00:39:10] and I'm going to look this up real quick but it's not really that important in this old town it's like an old timey like the downtown saloon is like where you have to go to do this I don't think any of the roads

[00:39:25] in this town are fucking paved they're all dirt fucking swinging doors that's all Canada by the way this saloon was built in the 1800 so it actually looks like that yeah and there's a shot you can take in there but they only do it

[00:39:41] between certain hours of the day and it's called the old sour toe and so the story began with these brothers who had gone off from the wilderness to do something and one of them had he got frostbite so bad they had to fucking remove his toe and so

[00:40:01] they were back at the saloon after all that went down and they're joking around one night about the toe and I guess somebody put it in the fucking shot glass and tipped it up until the toe came and hit their lip and took a shot and it started

[00:40:13] becoming this tradition and it's become this huge fucking thing now and it's gone on so long because it's like a hundred year old thing that you can fly out there and take a shot with an actual mummified human toe in it but people have

[00:40:27] still the toes over the years and so like a few of them got stolen one of them even got ingested but they have laws against this now they're on there like eighth or ninth toe and you can actually there's a thing you can actually do to sign up

[00:40:43] for to donate your toe to the place if when you die this is how boring Canada is they're tricking toes but yeah so it's like a shot of fucking rye whiskey with a fucking human toe in it and you have to tip it back

[00:40:59] to the toe rolls and hits your lips I'm not giving those canucks my toe those are the rules yeah but there's a heavy fine now if you fucking take that toe it's like 5000 fucking dollars it's like crazy someone steals it the bartender's like that was my favorite toe

[00:41:17] well if you drink it it's cannibalism now it's against the law yeah it's bad you cannot they're putting toe in the drink yeah I don't know it's a garnish that's entrapment I agree the old sourtoe I don't know if you can see this but like there it is

[00:41:39] I'm not drinking that that's the current one that's the current toe I don't know if the pictures I'm sure they all look the fucking same I don't know if the picture is current enough but yeah it's like a black ass like frost bit

[00:41:53] toe you know how your digits turn black if you get frost bit I wonder if there are like certain toe criteria you have to be the toe in the toe shot yeah what if you're the B Canadian maybe this couldn't have only been going on

[00:42:09] are they so hard pressed that it'll take any toe I mean times are tough yeah it's true toes of toe you need a toe you gotta use whatever toe you need okay Dawson city is the name of the little town

[00:42:23] it's not really a city it's just like this little old school city I guess or whatever but the first toe said do have belonged to a minor and rum runner named Louie Lycan a minor is an underground not oh I was like

[00:42:41] they chopped the toe off a kid this pretty fucked up no minor like yeah because this is back in I thought it was a late 1800s but it was the 1920s still kind of a shitty idea oh well that's when the toe was cut off

[00:42:57] he preserved his toe in a jar of alcohol in his cabin from memories and about 50 years later in 1973 the Yukon local captain Dick Stevenson that's a fucking name found the jar containing the toe while cleaning a cabin captain dick as the story goes

[00:43:17] brought the toe down to the sourdough saloon and started plunking it into drinks of those who were brave enough thus the sourdough cocktail club was formed you you huck a football your whack a pot your plunk a toe that's and the end so it is said so it

[00:43:37] is written Travis you have spoken plunked in that plunking toes all night baby you know I actually graduated with this friend of mine is actually the wife of one of the best uh Canadian football league quarterbacks of all time Joe Thysman was he a Canadian football court?

[00:44:02] yeah he did oh really? Jared Lorenzen no okay maybe he wasn't one of the greatest things I've just seen one no Lorenzen never played Canadian did he? wait what league did he play in? he played the NFL no no he played a secondary league

[00:44:20] it was definitely it was either Canadian football or the XFL yeah yeah cause he played like after he was in the NFL and he was fucking huge do you know who Jared Lorenzen is Ron? Jared Lorenzen no he played quarterback I believe Kentucky actually

[00:44:36] and then he played maybe maybe it was Kansas it might have been Kansas yeah he played for the Giants I think it was Kentucky cause I remember my brother in law telling me about was it like in the 90s? early 90s ladies early 2000s early 2000s

[00:44:54] cause he backed up Eli Manning in New York when he went to the NFL he's like a 300 pound left handed quarterback who would scramble and like drop people yeah they call him the hefty lefty but he was also twinkle toes out there at 300 pounds like to do 284 pounds

[00:45:12] yeah 284 wow how tall was he was he like 6'4? he was 6'4 6'4 yeah go back and watch highlights of this guy in college it's unbelievable so my friend Nicole is married to this dude his name is Henry Burris Henry Burris joins LA Rams as assistant coach

[00:45:36] he won three grade cup championships two with Calgary he's currently a tight end coach for the Los Angeles Rams alright he's formally an offensive quality control coach for the Bears and Jaguars he'd be coaching up Tyler Higby right now yeah so he won three grade

[00:45:58] cups two with Calgary Stampes in 98 and 2008 one with the Ottawa Red Blacks in 2016 he was this he played for Temple in college I think that's because my friend Nicole played La Crosse for Temple and he was the quarterback I think at the time

[00:46:18] Travis you know how I found out about Jared Lorenzen one of the old NCAA games for like PlayStation like the EA games yeah I had like I used to take just all my friends whatever and I would throw them all into a college team

[00:46:36] and I would make my own team and you know how you used to be able to like import those into Madden yeah so I was like doing that so I was like playing a season and I play against Kentucky it's like the first offensive play for Kentucky

[00:46:48] there's like this big fat offensive lineman that fucking quarterback who's like scrambling all over the place and doing like spins and I'm like what the fuck is this shit I was like I thought these were supposed to be like true representations of college players

[00:47:02] so I like you know the next couple days I some you know at some point look up because this is like you know this is like early 2000s I didn't have a fucking computer you know and I'm like hold it no way is that guy fucking real

[00:47:16] no fucking way I find highlights of the dude I was like what the fuck he was quick for his size he was pretty mobile dude yeah he was only 38 when he died yeah yeah no shit Ron he didn't die yeah I think it was actually

[00:47:34] complications from his weight because that's what I've never seen like at the end he was still playing and I really believe it was CFL he was still playing CFL and his shoulder pads looked like they were this big on him because he was so like Jared Lorenzen

[00:47:50] he was way heavier than 284 when he died oh yeah I think they said he was pushing 400 or something crazy like that those end years and he was still playing and it's the most ridiculous thing you'll ever see too yeah because a football in his hand it looks like

[00:48:08] it looks like a nerf football yeah wow he played for the river monsters yep that's warm holy shit he did play for Kentucky XNFL Kentucky Quarterback yeah I remember him getting into some games for the giants I remember when he played a little bit for the giants

[00:48:28] this is this is peak athleticism he played quarterback University of Kentucky where he set the school records for passing yards and passing touchdowns oh he was a beast at Kentucky signed by the giants undrafted free agent in 2004 he was a fucking beast fuck yeah fat dude yeah

[00:48:50] I'm telling you man you can watch his highlights for hours his highlights are incredible he didn't just do it with his arm he did it with his legs too you think back to the 80s and we all got excited about the frit

[00:49:06] when they would give the fridge the ball on the one yard line the 85 bears offensive tackles and running back that's just a fucking novelty compared to Jared Lorenzen yeah dude wasn't there every fucking play yeah touching the ball every play at one point he weighed over 500 pounds 500?

[00:49:26] yeah I'm telling you dude got huge yeah and then he started he started the Jared Lorenzen project but yeah he was and he came down some after he hit the 500 mark but damn I'm pretty sure I know you can find self documentaries on youtube about them

[00:49:48] but I'm pretty sure that ESPN did a 30 they did a 30 for 30 on them that's how I found out about it it's like most of them somehow it's sad as fuck yeah it is very sad he was like a pretty fucking cool guy he just super cool

[00:50:04] you just can't stop eating his weight issues just got to him his head he was depressed as fuck he became an alcoholic I think he even other substances too he died from acute infection complicated by heart and kidney problems yeah damn 38 shit

[00:50:26] but he was still out there playing a professional football even when he was like 400 pounds and he was a quarterback Gatorade Cooler of Dr Pepper yeah now I'm gonna go back and watch Jared Lorenzen highlights after we're done here yeah and then we're all gonna join the NFL

[00:50:44] hell yeah I was thinking we should buy we should pool our funds and our money and buy a CFL team and change the name to the Toes hell yeah more than like 40 bucks there's no way there's no way it costs more than 40 dollars

[00:51:04] maybe 40 Canadian which was like 65 bucks was that a Frank would be the UConn territory Toes we're 12,000 pesos fucking Mexicans and their shitty fucking money rupees the UConn Toesies I'm in I'm all in UConn Toe Cheese speaking of playing sports

[00:51:30] I was talking to a bunch of people recently about maybe starting a new flag football team in the 35 and older league nice I played for a Baltimore League two hand touch out for three seasons or four seasons yeah I haven't played sports since like 2015

[00:51:53] but I was playing hockey and flag football for a minute I tried running the other day you know how weird it is to run if you haven't run in decades I was running today I hate running unless it's for sports and then I don't care

[00:52:09] I realized that like if something was chasing me I would just give up because everything was telling me to stop like what are you doing like stop moving this fast I only run for my life that's what we have cars for exactly out of all the exercises

[00:52:31] just going outside and running worst possible fucking thing absolutely worse go swim some laps I started swimming a couple weeks ago again way more fun love swimming just out there running like you said you haven't done it in a while your arms aren't doing the right thing

[00:52:53] who's your do you have a hockey team is it the Rangers when I was in the hockey it was the Rangers at least you got them but I'm not a hockey fan I'm a Nick fan and a Nick fan that's why I'm so glad

[00:53:11] I sent my daughter to Kentucky at least Kentucky basketball who's been fucking you'll always have Patrick Ewing, John Starks and Alan Houston that's it that's why I live I live in that era unfortunately when the Knicks were great that was the end of Michael Jordan for the Bulls

[00:53:33] so we never got past them and then it was the beginning of fucking Reggie fucking what's his name for the Pacers Reggie Miller yeah, yeah, yeah, old Reggie Miller Nick Slayers so it was like we got to the finals once I think we got swept

[00:53:49] by the San Antonio Spurs I think we got swept maybe it's my game was this during the Ewing years the very end this would have been like so the Alan Houston years 97-98 maybe yeah so Alan Houston was there yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was that team

[00:54:09] yeah, I don't remember who he beat in the conference finals but I know we got destroyed by the Spurs yeah that would have been a Tim Duncan yeah, yeah David Robinson Spurs lead team right, yeah before Manning and Nobly I believe but yes, let me look it up

[00:54:31] was Tony Parker there then? I think so, he was a beast too that little French motherfucker man, god damn he was awesome he was badass when your team's playing the Spurs he was so fucking annoying and you know I'm a wizards fan so every other

[00:54:51] team is annoying to me the only championship the wizards well bullets really it was like the year before I was born they went to two in a row and they lost one they went 78-79 they lost 79-1 and 78 okay so it was the 99 finals the next

[00:55:13] it was four games to one so we did win one game so Parker's not on this roster well he wasn't there then Tony O'Daniel, Tim Duncan, Mario Ellie, Sean Elliott, Andrew Gaze Sean Jackson Sean Elliott was good Steve Kerr yeah, I think that's what I'm thinking

[00:55:31] Kerr is the wrong thing Will Perdue, David Robinson, Malik Rose and Brandon Williams Steve Kerr was a beast yeah and then it was all three-point shooters New York Knicks like oh Marcus Camby was there already on the Knicks that's weird I realize that he must have been a

[00:55:51] I remember Marcus Camby yeah He was a... I remember when the trail Spree-Rail choked out Oh yeah I remember a lot about La Troce Larry Johnson Oh God, Larry Johnson that was after you guys from Charlotte right well Starks wasn't on this team what?

[00:56:17] Jeff Van Gundy was the coach I guess Starks I thought Starks I thought you were left before Starks Ewing did leave before Starks No, he was on this team Yeah, he's on the roster I enjoyed watching the Knicks back in those days

[00:56:37] Yeah, they were a fun team to watch And I actually enjoyed watching the NBA It's the most boring fucking thing in the universe Have you tried to watch a current day NBA? It's just offense There's not even a point with the other team being out there I saw...

[00:56:53] Scores are like in the 140s now It's ridiculous Yeah It is It's like an old school NFL Pro Bowl game or something People are regularly putting up 130 to 150 without overtime Yeah, that's absolutely ridiculous It's so boring to watch It's like, hey let's all go run around

[00:57:15] in circles and then pass it to the one guy who stood back behind a 3 point line and he drains a 3 That's like the whole game There's no reason to do anything except shoot 3-pointers now in the NBA It's so boring Yeah, that's unfortunate I'm all about college basketball

[00:57:33] I think they should get rid of the 3 point line honestly Yeah, I mean I don't disagree with that I dislike it now Either that or move it so far back that nobody wants to regularly shoot it Just use the half court line as a 3 point line Yeah

[00:57:49] I think If they get rid of the 3 point line it'll turn basketball back into basketball It'll be really interesting to watch again Basketball is such a chess match, man It's a great game I played it for a while too Oh did you? I never played it

[00:58:07] I played all 4 major sports in this country I never played it on a team Yeah Just football and baseball It was funny The basketball team I was on I was like a freshman in high school My dad started doing it with me My dad used to be

[00:58:25] He was a point guard captain of the basketball team captain of the football team All crazy shit So my dad started to come into every game and the guy who was coaching my team was just horrid, we were like the worst team in the league

[00:58:42] He didn't really know what he was doing He just enjoyed doing it for kids or whatever I mean we were teenagers at that point My dad at some point during the season because he would take me to practices and shit too

[00:58:56] would start walking over to him and be like hey can I make a suggestion So my dad just kind of became like a walk on coach and then we started getting good and all the kids on the team were like hey, how come your dad doesn't

[00:59:08] coach the team instead of Mr. Nelson And I'm like I think that's what's happening right now That's awesome Like fuck Mr. Nelson My dad's got this wonky eye because he was shot in the eye with a BB gun when he was in

[00:59:26] Boy Scouts or Cub Scouts or whatever and lost all vision And so I remember the kids on the team being like what's up with his eye dude Why is his eye always? He got shot in the fucking eye and survived He's a fucking warrior

[00:59:42] They're all scared of my dad after that They're like, what the fuck got shot in the eye I'm right he did That's a lot of fun to play actually It is. If you could have season tickets to any sport, which one would it be?

[00:59:56] Hockey. I did it. Hockey? Yeah Travis what about you? That's tough dude I would probably go football I've never had season tickets to football but there were I think two seasons where I went to every single skins home game Really? Yeah it was a while back

[01:00:18] and that was fun but it's tiring It's so tiring It's a day It is different. It's not like going to a baseball game where you can show up, watch the game You leave like football is far more Yeah the whole day like you said

[01:00:34] Dude yeah like caps games that's a season ticket. You know what I mean it's like two or three games a week and you fucking drive up there, watch the game, have a couple beers fucking home before midnight sometimes home before 11 you know That's so cool

[01:00:52] But yeah football is a day It's a day. It takes it out It starts at 9am, gates are at 9am Yeah cause you know if you're going to the stadium you gotta tailgate You gotta get there early and tailgate Football is so much better on TV man

[01:01:06] It's so much better on TV I kind of agree with you I love it on TV It's such a TV sport man Baseball you could I don't know, baseball is a lot I enjoy being at baseball games Football games you get so much more

[01:01:26] from just like the replays and all this shit like Cause it's so expensive to get a good seat at a football game It is So you're probably going to be sitting in a shitty seat Well you didn't throw all this into the scenario

[01:01:40] You weren't saying like okay Travis On your salary you're going to buy Season tickets Like fuck I'm going to sit in the gutter at that rate How much is it nowadays to go like sit lower level Cause like 10 years ago it was expensive Dude when I haven't

[01:01:56] Last few times that I've been Last few season I've been I've been given tickets Like free tickets and they're club level And on the tickets there are like 300 a pop Yeah, okay I can actually It's weird having this feeling where like

[01:02:12] I can actually feel like okay about spending money On my team again I've been boycotting my own football teams since 2012 You know So like I could buy a jersey again Yeah until they change the name Yeah I'm going to wait Cause they're going to change it

[01:02:28] Yeah they're going to So he made a statement About it Towards the end of the season People were starting to ask questions I think they just wanted to put it To bed for the Like For the recent future The soon future Going into the off season

[01:02:50] Their main priority is Putting a winning field on the team And putting together whatever's going to happen After this season we're going to fire people We're going to put So that's their main priority The name is something we would really like to address

[01:03:04] But as far as priority lists go right now It's pretty low on the total poll But it is going to be something we're going to address And so I think Maybe after this coming season But more than likely Probably after the 2025 season You'll probably see a name change

[01:03:22] That's my guess I think the longer they wait the less likely they are to change it Yeah probably Because I think it's people Going to come around to the name I don't think so You know what the popular thing is right now Which is fucking rad What?

[01:03:42] The Washington War And the warthog is a fighter jet too Yeah the best fighter jet And people have done some really cool logos for it A-10 The only cool thing about the Air Force A-10 warthog Yeah the warthog too It's got the hog incorporated in the name

[01:04:00] Nice ring to it Washington Warthogs Like I think that's probably what it's going to end up be It was a huge warthog Navy Air Force base In Maryland too so they could have awesome flybys There are Some mornings Some days that I work

[01:04:18] Where I got to be there at 5am Tomorrow one of them It is Oh Travis is doing it tonight Damn see I was just going to let you guys I was just going to be like see you Travis is doing it tonight

[01:04:34] I was trying to do all this but alright guys Alright take off I got to talk to Matt about some upcoming shit anyway so Alright dudes we'll talk soon Alright man take care Later guys